


How to Love a Monster

by LittleLover11



Category: Star Wars, Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015), Star Wars Episode VIII: The Last Jedi (2017)
Genre: Adam Driver - Freeform, Aliens, Angry Hux, Angry Kylo Ren, Anxiety, Ben Solo - Freeform, Blood, Chewbacca - Freeform, Dramatic, Drunk Hux, F/M, Fanfiction, Flowers, Friendship, Future, Galaxies, Gardens, Han Solo - Freeform, Happy, Heart Break, Hurt Characters, Hurt/Comfort, Hysterical Drunk, Illness, Implied/Referenced Abuse, Jealousy, Kylo Ren Has Issues, Kylo Ren Needs a Hug, Love, Luke Skywalker - Freeform, Maids, Masks, Mind Control, Monsters, Original Character(s), Parents, Planets, Poems, Poor Hux, Princess Leia - Freeform, Romance, Sass, Sci-Fi, Shirtless Kylo, Singing, Songbirds, Star Wars - Freeform, Star Wars Stuff, Starkiller Base, Storm Troopers, Telapathic Abilities, The First Order, The Republic, Use of the Force, bb8 - Freeform, dark side, don't know how to tag, drunk, falling, force, galaxy, garden, help me, hurt comfort, hurt kylo, injuries, new moves, prisions, r2d2 - Freeform, rebelion, the empire
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-12-29
Updated: 2018-01-01
Packaged: 2019-02-22 09:30:08
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Underage
Chapters: 6
Words: 9,354
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13164099
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LittleLover11/pseuds/LittleLover11
Summary: My name is Synova, I am the Princess of Wetheroth and I am in love with a man who is mistaken for a monster.





	1. Intro

**Author's Note:**

  * For [SinfullySimple](https://archiveofourown.org/users/SinfullySimple/gifts).



> Her name of Synova is pronounced Sigh-Nova
> 
> Wetheroth is said Wet-he-roth
> 
> Retol is said as Re-toll
> 
> Happy Reading :)

As I recall my life, I never expected to end here with him. Him being my upbringing and my downfall. He was the sculpture and the destructor of me and my future. Kylo's dark brown eyes, perfection, and he were mine. All mine for the time I had him. We had something, but maybe this was now nothing.

“Synova don’t.”

“Then don’t make me the thing that kills you, Kylo.”

He took his stance, raised his lightsaber and stared me in the eyes. I raised my hand and placed it on his cheek. He froze with his shoulders rising and falling as he stared at me in fear, anger, and love. I leaned in and placed a kiss on his lips. He froze not moving, and that's when I knew. I loved him, and that is the beginning and the end of everything.

“I love you.”


	2. Welcome to Wetheroth

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Synova is shocked when news of guests is told to her. Who these guests are is unknown to her.

Voices rose over the horizon of the yellow Holt moon. The loud voices singing from men, women, children, animals, and monsters. The world was at perfect peace and serenity as they lifted from the grass to the atmosphere of the planet. The maids and the workers of my father’s castle always sang that song, and it gave me hope in the small little black world I had. 

I stood on the broad marble balcony that extended from my room that gave me the perfect view of the kingdom and the dark oceans of Retol. Darkness was all we had on the planet. It was almost always infinity night here on Retol. Our rotation is so slow and our world so big it takes forever for us to get the light we need. We only get sunlight one full day here.

“Oh, my sweet home of night and love. Be with me when the sun rises over the plains.”

“Mistress?”

My maid called to me from behind me. She had just entered the room with a few things in her hands, and she looked happy as she always did. Some days I felt like that smile was a lie to everyone to cover whatever pain she had. That girl had to feel something and not just twenty-four-seven happiness. I turned on my heels to see the maid making a smile appeared on my face. The smile on my face, however, was a lie. I didn't want anyone to bother me right now, but I guess it was okay that she was here.

“Yes, Aredela?”

She bowed and walked towards me with her hands folded in front of her as they were supposed to be. Her eyes were tired from all the work she had been doing. Her hair was cut short so that you could see her scalp, a crown of twisted gold cords sat on her head, and she wore the brown robes of the servants. She was a higher servant from all her work, and I gave her the crown as a reward for being my maid of five years. Aredela bowed once more in respects towards me since I was royal.

“You have company in the Grand Hall, and your Majesty King Welteroth requests your presence to meet said, guests.”

Guests? Father would have warned me of guests if he was going to have me meet them. He would have given me time to prepare my hair, my dressing, and my manors. I hated not being warned about the company. It was one of my number one pet peeves that my father did. It was the one thing I hated him for. My father almost never ticked me off, but oh how he could. I loved everyone and agreed and loved as well as support them; they just knew how to press my buttons.

I looked in the mirror and sighed. I placed my palms towards the ground, closed my eyes, and let the air around me spin. I felt drunk with happiness and power as the world changed and transformed. I felt the dew on the blades of grass as the cut through the wind, and how the baby on the mother’s back felt at rest and peace as it slept. How the sun was only a month away from the city of Welteroth. The difference in the dark and light, and the way they worked together to create this Universe.

I felt fabric draped around me, my hair move to just how I liked it, and the beauty of the force dressed me in the vision of itself. As I slowly opened my eyes I saw y hair perfect, the dress perfect, a gold flaked makeup entirely on me. The red lipstick placed perfectly on my lips. I was beautiful, and so was everyone, but I felt sexier than anybody else. I looked like a girl who ruled this world with the right amount of mercy and fear.

“Who are they?”

I asked out of pure curiosity and hoped it wasn’t the Duke of Lunenburg who requested I married him every time he was here. The man was older than my great grandfather, and I had no interest in him at all. I had not found the man I would one day marry and rule over this planet or even the man who would help me bare and raise children of our own. He merely probably didn't exist at all.

“Ma’am they are from the First Order.”

I could feel the fear radiating from her. Fear that I held too towards the First Order and all the wars that erupted across the galaxy and the vastness of space. I don’t think it would ever change. There would always be the darkness and the light, and the never-ending war between them for dominance over the other. 

I nodded with a loud sigh as my emotions were all over. I needed a fix or a drink to fix my brain to keep me from going insane. I feel free, but I am caged from all this stress. I don't want to be this person, so rich and powerful. I honestly kind of wanted to be a farmer.

“Oh, then it is probably business with the father helping fund the wars. The never-ending wars.”

She shook her head at me telling me Aredela knew nothing of this meeting or much about my new guests. The First Order? Why would they be here? Out of all the places, they could be right now they were here? Why here on Retol where nothing ever really happened. This site could be as dull as places come.

“Ma’am I do not know nor is it my place to know. He is requesting you and if there is anything you need it’s my duty.”

“If it is too much to ask can you prepare the guest room next to mine? I have a feeling about this meeting.”

“Yes, ma’am. Have a good day ma’am.”

“Oh, and Aredela call me Synova when we are alone.”

I smiled at her as I walked out into the hallway slowly letting my high heels click loudly as I walked. The sound of clicking made power surge, but at the same time, I was trying to keep myself from falling over. I hated heels, I hated dresses, and I hated life.

“Ma’am, I will, but I apologize if I forget.”

She smiled at me before the door to my room shut with a loud bang. The halls of Welteroth were ten feet across from wall to wall, twenty feet high, and they seemed to go on forever with the business of maids, royals, and nobles. 

The smell of perfume, food, and sex filled the air as it did every day. The kitchens always busy making meals for the palace, the aromas of the ladies trying to draw their men into their steal trap of bed just to spend that man away before trapping the next. 

My heels clicked loudly on the floor. I concentrated on the echoing. The click clicks click as it echoed down the hall and back. Over and over again I listened to this steady rhythm of the clicking. 

I could hear voices of my father in the Grand Hall. I stopped outside the door just to look at him. My father wore red robes with golden swirls on it, and I was pleased that my mother matched him.

“Well, I hope you gentlemen feel welcomed to Welteroth. My daughter should be here any moment.”

I could hear the smile on his face. The one that curled up on his ears as it always did when he tried to impress guests. I walked in slowly and quietly as I possibly could. My father turned and smiled to me from his throne, not by twenty-five feet from me. My mother sat on her throne next to him, and they both laughed happily at me. 

I took notice of the two First Order people. One was a ginger which I had met on several occasions as General Hux. He was kind to me, and when we had last met, he was a little bit too drunk for my liking. I had shot him in the arm, but I grazed him. He, however, would say I destroyed his arm. I was glad to see he hadn’t amputated it yet like he said he would. 

The other man was masked and wore all black. I felt his presence, and it was dark and cloudy. I could not see through it even if I tried. He was indeed one for the dark side, and her demeanor was that of a sadly lost prince. One who had been hurt way too many times to look into the light and care.

“Synova, the girl with the blaster. How are you?”

Hux asked, and I did not quite like at all. He gulped after he had said that and I just smiled back at him. I walked right past him, spun on my heels and winked at him.

“How's your arm, Hux? Glad to see it still works.”

I continued my ascent towards my throne spot on the left hand of my father. As I sat down, I saw the Hux was blushing, and it made me laugh. I wish I could read the face of the other man. He was so mysterious and dark he drew me right to him. He was something different from the others in the room. It felt like he was staring straight into my soul, or was he looking at my father? He was confusing me and scaring me at the same time.

“Synova, this is General Hux as you know and Kylo Ren leader of the First Order.”

I moved my gaze from my father and his words to Kylo Ren. I gulped as I looked at him and felt my heart sink into a pit darkness. My body felt like it had been eaten up alive by the dark and I felt as if there was no hope for me.

“Pleasure to meet you, Kylo Ren.” I turned to Hux, “Greetings again old friend.”

My father laughed, and he acted all merry and King-like. He was one for the show and would cover up the blemishes with all gold and pretty things, but underneath that gold tech, corruption grew. He knew it, and we all knew it. All his acts and shows were just the mirage to cover up the endless desert of problems that made you thirsty for the riches and the luxuries of life.

“The pleasure is all mine princess.”

Kylo Ren said in his altered voice. His whole body was masked in darkness. His words came out from a modulator, but it couldn’t hide the deepness of his voice and the anger there. I quickly noticed after staring at Kylo that his stance was different than Hux’s. Kylo was not formal, but powerful. He was capable of anything, and he could take anything he wanted and have it. I have heard he killed thousands for one little thing. This man got what he wanted without a care of what got in his way. There was a definite high difference between him and I that I noticed. He was much taller than me, and I was shorter than him or my lifespan. I smiled faintly at him to be polite, and I sighed as I looked back at my father to figure out what he was going to do with our two guests.

“General Hux my wife and I would like to show you the new gadgets we are investing into for you and your armies. Kylo, my daughter, will take you where ever you wish to go her in Welteroth.”

My father smiled as he stood up and walked towards Hux with my mother following close behind. My mother almost never spoke, and some days I wondered if she could. The three walked out of the room and left me in the never-ending silence with Kylo Ren. He was so mysterious, dangerous, and something that I couldn't place my hand on. I stood up from my little gold and black throne. I slowly walked down the stairs to him doing my best not to trip on my heels or my dress. I was way too short to stand next to him. He was at least six foot, and I was at least five foot. I felt like an ant standing next to the Universe.

“Where do you wish to go?”

I asked him hoping he would say nowhere in Retol. I was no longer the highest authority here, but one of the lowest here. Compared to Kylo I was the equivalent of my maid and her friends. Which I liked, but I wanted to rebel against him. Be his submissive subject while he was my dominate ruler. He looked around the Grand Hall and looked back at me. The fact I couldn't see his eyes or face sent shivers down my short spine.

“Wherever you wish to take me.”

“I guess the Palace Gardens.”

I strolled and listened to the clicking of my shoes. I began to hum softly to myself, and soon I heard Kylo clear his throat, so I stopped in my tracks. I turned around betting hit my raven hair. I brushed it out of my face and looked into the black eye part of his mask.

“Is there something wrong my Lord?”

“Your singing it’s beautiful, but why so filled with sorrow?"

He asked as if he wasn’t masked or so hidden from me and the world. Did Kylo know nothing of my people and me? We were the musical creators of this Universe. We created just about every piece of music that was still in this Universe. Some of the Galaxy's best singers were born and raised on Retol.

“I didn’t even know I was singing my Lord. Singing here is as normal as talking. If you can come up with the words, you can put anything to it.”

“Music is not a luxury I have, but I do enjoy your voice. Do not stop on my account it is rather breathtaking actually.”

“Um, thanks, I’ve never gotten a compliment.”

The gardens were beautiful as always. Bright and filled with flowers. The birds soared through the air as the saying their joyful songs. The animals that lived here were not shy or never felt threatened. There were moon dogs or dogs made of rock, but in the nights they glowed bright colors, and they howled as the Holt moon was at its peak.

“These gardens have been here since the beginning of Welteroth. The flowers bloom and grow to let out the scents of the smeller’s desire. For instance, I smell-”

I took a whiff of the flowers and smelt something unknown to me. I backed up and tripped over my heels and hit my head on the stone wall that guards the edge of the garden. I looked around to see my vision spotting, blood covering me, and my head pounding louder and louder as I laid there crying in pain. Pain, brokenness, death, coldness, darkness, and everything wrong in this world seemed to sit on my chest making me unable to breathe or pump blood to my body. I gasped, shook, and cried tears.

“Synova stay with me. I need help!”

Kylo shouted at the top of his lungs. He looked back at me with his mask still on, and I wish I could take it off of his face.

“This is going to hurt a bit, but you’ll be okay.”

I place his hand over my head by a couple of inches, and I heard a loud crack and my world went black. I was in nothing, and I was the nothing. When my brain took me was a place of vast blackness. There was nothing but me, and that was all that was there.

“Hello?”

I called out to the darkness, and nothing responded.

“HELLO!”

I shouted louder in hopes of an echo back, but once more there was none. Then I saw a figure move in the vastness of the shadows. It was a figure that I couldn't quite make out even if I tried to make it out. I gasped in fear as it brushed passed me. My heart raced at light speed, and I felt as if this was going to be my last moments.

“Hello? Who is there! I demand you show yourself to me! I am Princess Synova Welteroth, and I am over you! How yourself!”

A human voice responded loudly and appeared to me. It was so dark and angry but so light and loving.

“You’re alive and fine Songbird.”

I felt dense fabric brush past my face, and I had never been more felt with fear in my whole life. I knew I had felt this presence before, but I had no idea where. The same scent from the flower-filled the air and it was both hypnotized and repulsive.

“Who are you?”

I asked loudly as I stepped to where the voice had come from, but nothing was there. Just air and darkness. The voice laughed at me and my sufferings.

“Do you need me to put my mask on?”

I looked around frightened by him. I knew who it was after those words. I looked around in fear and more fear as it consumed the very essence of me. It was Kylo, but I could not see him. I guess he did genuinely want to hide what he was like from everyone and everything. He was hiding everything about him from me. He was so secretive it almost scared me to death.

“I guess I don’t have to tell you.”

“Why do you put a mask on such a beautiful voice?”

“Because it reminds me of my past and that is something I never want to remember.”

I sighed and sat down on the ground and put my head into my hands and sang out loud to cast my fears of him out. My worries were no more when I sang something. Singing was me, and I was good with singing.

“Don’t hide your moons from me above. For take the light and break thy chains.”


	3. Songbird

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kylo comes up with a cute nickname for Synova. He has been watching over her for a week, and it took him that long to come up with that nickname.

The darkness and closed me tightly, but I could still breath, move, and feel. My thoughts were all, but my own, and fear penetrated deep inside me. It was the world I felt like I knew all too well, but then again it was the world I was exploring and learning. I felt like a native and an explore exploring the land as if it was never ending changing from one form to the next. You think I would know my own mind, but I never understood how the brain worked. It was a little confusing.

“To set me free from poverty and brokenness. Let me breathe the freshest air that Retol makes give.”

I sang and sang and sang to keep me from going mad in my mind. I felt warmth in the darkness and fresh air. I closed my eyes to take it in, but when I opened them I was no longer in the dark, but in my room tucked under the man sheets of my bed. It was night, the fireplace was glowing, and Kylo was standing on my balcony looking out at the stars and moons of the night.

“You are awake, Songbird.”

He turned to look at me, and once more that mask covered up something he never wanted to show. I shook my head and looked away from him. I felt anger towards him and pain. My head blurred with the memory of recent events. Echoes in my head screaming to run away, and some telling me to stay. Something was different. Something had happened and I had forgotten it. Something was out of place, and something was screaming at me but I didn't know what it was.

Kylo walked towards me in long stride steps. He was tall, so then again I suppose it is his usual walking and it would be my running. Even with a mask on, I saw the beauty in him, but the war that was broiling inside it was quickly destroying him. He sat on the edge of my bed his eyes probably staring at me.

“Why do you search for something?”

He asked me as he probably stared intensely into my eyes. I smiled faintly as I moved my hand out towards his. I took his hand into mine, and my hand barely fit in his palm. He laughed a bit as he closed his hand around my small hand. I smiled at him as I watched his fingers dance over my knuckles.

“I know you are one with force Kylo, but you have a little bit humanity in your soul. I see love, laughter, and life. It may not be as much as it once was, but it is there, and it can be either your upbringing or your downfall.”

I closed my eyes as he still held my hand. He let out a sigh that sent shivers through me. He did something to me, but what that was I didn't know. He made me feel a feeling that doesn't exactly have a name.

“You think so kindly of a monster. That doesn’t deserve your love or kindness. That can’t love or be kind in return.”

I smiled and moved my free hand to touch the cold metal of the mask and closed my eyes. He pressed his head into my hand. There I did see and feel the humanity that was locked away inside him. He was like a prison with cells filled with different emotions or parts of him that he wanted to lock up. All I had to do was find the key and unlock it to see who he indeed was. The emotions he did let free were tormenting him and hurting him like a wounded animal.

“Kylo, you are not a monster, and I shall never see you that way."

I stated as my eyes flashed open to let the light flow into my light blue eyes. He growled lowly and pulled away in haste and anger.

“Then why do you fear me? I sense your fear and pain and feel it as if it is my own.”

He walked off to the balcony to look off into the distance. I looked at the back of his mask to see a lock of black hair. Hair that was silky and beautiful and it only drew me closer to him. For whatever monster laid beneath him was something I could never fear for I know he wouldn’t honestly hurt me. What was this feeling? It had to have a name, and I had never felt it before. It was something that made me feel cold and on fire.

I slowly uncovered myself from the sheets and stood up in my nightgown of white lace. There was a white satin cover that covered from my chest to my hip, but I felt sexy more than ever. I heard his breath hitch, and it made me feel so, alive. There was so much adrenaline in my body it made me happy and ecstatically active in this place called life. I let an old song slip from my lips without hesitation or anything to stop me. I simply just let go.

_“Love is not something you can take, but it is given. It is worth the wait and pain every single time. For once it is accepted all shall be forgiven. Love is a payment for any sin or crime.”_

He stared at me through his dark metal mask. I walked towards him and placed my hands on either side of the mask. I looked into the black hole where his eyes should be.

“Kylo I have no idea what draws me to you. I don’t care the pain you have or what you will or have not done. I feel as if I could love you for a hundred years without hating you.”

I stopped myself before I said anything that I would later regret. Kylo nodded his head and stared at me, or he was looking down at me. He moved his hands to close my eyelids gently. The leather on his gloves tickled. He moved his gloved hands down my face and I shivered. I felt scared and excited at the same time.

“Keep then shut. No peeking.”

I nodded and listen to the sound of his mask opening and coming off. I listen to the music of his breathing and mine. Then I felt something like nothing I had ever felt before. His lips softly pressed against mine. I gasped and moved my hands to his face as he did too. We kissed for quite some time just our lips moving to a perfect rhythm. Then we pulled away, and he placed his forehead on mine. I still kept my eyes closed as he placed a kiss on my forehead.

Then he pulled me to his chest. I could hear his heart beating wildly in his chest as loud as a thousand beating drums. His heart was one of a kind. It was the power to the prison of his mind. It gave life to the beast that had locked away the man, and it kept both alive like the darkness the light. Then I heard the clicking of his mask, and I knew the perfect face was hidden from me once more. I sighed and burrowed myself into his chest. I felt like he had shut himself off from me, and I felt like he was shoving me away from him.

“Songbird I do not know why I am attracted to you. For I thought I could not love anyone, or ever know of love.”

He sighed as he parted from me and left me alone in my chambers. I stood there and kept my eyes shut and ran my hand over my lip. I felt the softness of my mouth and I felt the remanence of his. So soft and so gentle from such a beast. The hatred he held inside became a sweet and passionate kiss it made me melt like butter on warm biscuits.

He made me feel a thousand times more, and I felt like everything happy and pleasant and bright. I was the light frosting on cupcakes and the air of this world. I felt like birds soaring above everything.

I looked out and sang out loud from the heart.

_“For I have never felt so happy in my life. For this dark lit morning of the Holt moon. So that I may not lose my fight with this knife. For I shall soon see my moon.”_

The kiss with Kylo was something had to describe, but perfect might be a word to use. I walked around my room thinking about it.

I looked at the fireplace in my room. It was a fireplace made out of marble with gold figures of women and flower.


	4. Drunk Me is a Fun Me (Not)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Synova gets drunk with Hux, and some tension starts to occur between the characters.

The bell towers of my kingdom were tall and they heald beautiful stained glassed variations of truth and power. They depicted various times of the kingdom under the rule of different kings and peoples who have existed in our time. Twenty Generations of men ruling this planet with an iron hand. Providing protection to its peoples for a small cost. They showed the world that people can be kind to one another and have mutual relationships.  
  
"Synova."

A voice came from behind me, and my soul perked up. I turned around on my heels and my hair floated in the thin cool air and I smiled brightly. The happiness of friends was the happiness I loved. Friends were the people I could spend forever with even if we were both dead.

"Hux, long time no see."  
  
He laughed and walked up to me and place his hand on my waist and pulled me closer to him. I placed my head on his shoulder as I looked out across the landscape of the city and kingdom I would one day rule.  
  
"You are sad."

He stated clearly to which I nodded and sighed as a tear slowly cascaded off my face and hit the ground a hundred feet away from me below. It landed in the soft brown dirt, and there grew a small golden flower. The Cryaolid was a special flower said to grow hundreds of years and it's powers varied on the person that cried it, and they only happened to certain people. I sighed knowing that there would be some good out of this sadness. Hux placed a loving kiss on my forehead and leaving his lips there for a while before removing them. I pushed my head onto his shoulder some more and mewed to myself.  
  
"Hux, you're a friend a very good friend, but can I trust you?"

I asked looking up into his eyes. Hux always had the most beautiful green eyes and perfect red hair. He was scary, but kind if you got to know him. When he wasn't killing off planets he was a friend wh oI could drink with and chat away my days with. Our parents knew each other, and we grew up with each other, but he had quickly lost his humanity and it is slowly fading. I always knew I would lose him somehow, but I didn't know when. I was, however, still glad I had a drinking buddy.  
  
"What is it Synova?"

He asked as looked down into my eyes. I told him without a second thought in my head. Why should I hide anything from Hux? 

"Kylo kissed me."  
  
His eyes widened as he looked into mine. His bewilderment was felt by me too.

"He what? He... no, he didn't. Kylo Ren and we are talking the Kylo Ren kissed you?"

He sounded like a teenage girl which was rather annoying. How could a grown man who was a General sound like a teenage girl who wanted to newest line of Galaxy perfume? How that was astounded me and probably anyone else to hear him do it. 

"I think I need a drink."

"Me too buddy. Me too."  
  
We walked together down the long and endless spiral staircase to get to the ground. Our footsteps were in sync, and he stole my hand which I was perfectly fine with. Hux led the way towards the bar in the palace where all the nobles and their friends would spend the time to drink and snog in the back corners of the joint. It was the perfect place to forget all your worries and drink till you make your ancestors proud. The bar was rather built like a casino with large open roof space filled with arches and dangling diamond chandeliers. The people there were dressed in all white and black with gold and silver covering their entire bodies. This was the center of richness and drunk people.  
  
"Two gold fizzlers and a gold vodka cocktail."

Hux ordered and sat us down in the royal room of the bar. The royal room was for my family and a few guest of our choice. We could be alone and drink and drink and drink some more. It was filled with the perfect setting for meetings and the sexiest looks that gave you all more power to be free willed. Our drinks came sure enough to us, and it made me happy once I got all that alcohol into my system. Hans was next to get drunk. The world spinning in an odd colorful display around us, and I smiled and danced around. I felt so perfect so ecstatic, and I hadn't been like this for a while.

I was dancing on tables and taking off articles of clothing, but not too much just a scarf robe and a skirt (which I wore three of them). I heard people cheering and people yelling to take it all off. I smiled and continued dancing with my eyes on Hux who seemed to not be able to take his eyes off mine and I just smiled. I removed my high heels and threw them to him and he whistled as I danced in circles feeling more and more alive.  
  
"What are you two doing?"

An angry voice rumbled throughout the whole room. Hux and I froze in fear and in shock. My heart raced faster and faster as I slowly turned to see Kylo standing there, his shoulders raising and he looked in rage but I couldn't tell what was on his face because he wore a mask. He walked towards me, picked up my clothes and high heels, and grabbed me by my arm roughly. He was strong as his fingers dug into my arm. I knew for sure there were going to be bruises there in the morning. Kylo forced me out of the room leaving an angry Hux in the room. Hux was raging in anger and I could see it.  
  
"Give her back Kylo! She isn't yours."

Hux growled lowly at his superior, and Kylo growled back at his general. It honestly sounded like a zoo with a bunch of fighting tigers. They were fighting over me. Was I dinner or dessert? Whatever I was I wasn't having it or being in between them. They both are cute and sexy, but my Holt Moon above I wasn't going to be fought over.

"She isn't yours either! I am taking her to her room before she does something she'll regret. And for you Hux I suggest you sober up."  
  
I shoved off of Kylo and stumbled backward, but he caught me in time before I hit anything. His mask and body were spinning and so was the world around me. It was as if I stepped inside of one of those kaleidoscope thingies. I felt so dizzy and so tired and happy. My ankles and knees buckled as if I weighed a thousand pounds and they weren't having it anymore. I guess drunk me was stupid, but I couldn't remember much.  
  
"Hey, Kylo. Wheeee-"

 _CRASH!_ I fell over and knocked over a tray of cocktails and chips. Kylo looked down at me and shook his head like an angry father. I raised my hands like a child to be picked up, and he picked me up and slung me over his left shoulder. I was facing and waving goodbye to Hux who saved by like a sad puppy.   
  
"Kylo!" I dragged out and whined like a three-year-old, "I was having fun and you ruined it!"  
  
"I wasn't having you do something you'll regret songbird."  
  
I kicked and punched his back as hard as my tiny fists could, but it hurt me more than him. Kylo was like a moving marble statue of power and evilness. I wanted to finish my drink with Hux and my dancing on that table.

"Put me down! PUT ME DOWN! KYLO REN YOU HAVE FIVE SECONDS TO PUT ME DOWN!"

I kept yelling and punching, but he wouldn't listen to me. I kept pounding on his back but nothing worked. I gave up hope because he held me in this position on his back like an iron clamp. I was an ant and he was the shoe, and if you don't know how that ends it ends with me being squashed and him with guts on his shoe.  
  
"I am not putting you down. You are too drunk to walk."

He replied as he continued to carry me. I crossed my arms and pouted at him. He just laughed at me and my struggles like an evil villain should, and it was hot.

"And you're acting like a spoiled brat."  
  
I growled and tapped his helmet a couple times. I was in a mood, and when I am in a mood you can't stop me. I am female for peat sake, fight me!

"You're cute."  
  
He ignored me and my comments. I moved and whispered where his ear was.

"And sexy."  
  
Kylo growled lowly and was angry, but that didn't stop me from pressing a couple red buttons. What else are you supposed to do with red buttons? Always press the red button no matter how much they tell you not to.

"Shut up."  
  
I smiled slyly and shook my head no. I was persistent and I loved these bright big shiny red buttons.

"Why don't you take off that mask and show me whats under there."  
  
We had finally got into my bedroom despite the fact I was fighting him in every way possible. All I said was true and all he said was lies. He had his last straw, chucked me onto my bed, and stood in the middle of my bedroom. I kept my eyes on him and took in every edge and curve of him.  
  
"Enough! That kiss meant nothing."

He growled angrily and he force shoved me back onto my bed roughly after I tried to get back up. I hat up on my back on my arms at stared at the perfect masterpiece in front of me.

"Sure honey whatever you say. You loved it and so did I. It was so hot and perfect."  
  
"You're drunk."

He stated clearly as if I didn't know that. I may be dumb, but I am not drunk. I rolled my eyes as I removed my dress completely so I was in one skirt and small bra on. I walked to my mirror and grabbed my hairbrush, and Kylo looked away from me so he couldn't see what I had. I laughed and brushed my black hair and looked at his ass in the mirror. He looked so freaking sexy and hot and aaauuuuggghhh. I growled as he turned around to look at me.  
  
"You know you could do anything right now."

I slurred happily at him and I saw that little timer of a bomb go off in his head. Kylo yelled and a vase of roses shatter. Glass and roses went everywhere, the glass cut some of my skin and rolled across the floor.

"ENOUGH! I am leaving and I will not do anything with you ever! I HATE YOU AND DESPISE YOU!"  
  
I froze as I watched him leave, and I fell to the ground in tears.


	5. Morning Training

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kylo wakes up Synova and they have a training session.

“Wake up!”

I was shoved from my bed to the ground where I hit my head on the floor and rolled across the floor like a coin. I kept my eyes closed and rubbed them. I curled back into a ball with my sheets around me.

“Five more minutes dad.”

  
Then the sensation of being pulled occurred. I opened my eyes to be realized I was being dragged down the main hallway, in my nightgown, and on a blanket. Kylo was dragging me across the floor on a sheet while I was sleeping. I wasn’t honestly sure to be mad or laugh.

“What do you think you're doing?”

“Morning training Songbird.”

A mechanic voice spoke loudly to me. I shook my head at him and laid back on the silk sheet in which was connected to his hand. I didn’t enjoy being dragged across the floor, but I had no choice. I folded my arms as people stared. Someone whispered and pointed.

“Yeah, Rachel I am being dragged by Kylo. Keep staring, and I will have you locked in prison for a year.”

She gulped and walked away not bothering to look back. I hated Rachael which was a rare thing for me to do, but she slept with my ex and stole him from me, so I had a right to be pissed at her for the rest of eternity. I liked Josh, but you know whatever.

“You’re better off without him.”

I looked back at him and growled before I began to pout again.

“Stay out of my head.”

Kylo laughed at me and continued to drag me across the ground with me acting like a three-year-old. I was oddly okay with this whole situation that was happening. He pulled me past the castle and into the woods. These woods were filled with tall oak, dogs, and death.

“Welcome to training.”

“It’s early morning.”

“That's is why it is better. I know you have the force, and no one else knows.”

I nodded that he was right. It wasn’t like I wanted to scream from the rooftops that I had powers. Here on Retol, it was seen as a curse for if you used it for evil, it would awaken the beast of the deep sea. No one wanted that creature to be alive.

“Why train me?”

“Because I said so.”

“That's not a reason-”

As soon as I stood up, I was stuck in place. I looked at him and watched his moves. He circled me, and I was still frozen. Could he like unfreeze me now? How is this training if I can’t move? I tried to run myself, and I managed to move my arm upwards.

“Seriously Kylo?”

“Step one stop being an ass and focus. Focus on the world around you. Focus on the light and dark and how the dark and the light fight for dominance in the world.”

Kylo’s hand moved, and suddenly I was sitting on the ground with my legs crossed. I listened to him, closed my eyes, and focused on the world around me. The force was something so strong and powerful and something so dark and yet filled with something so beautiful with light. The world stopped for a moment and froze, and it was just me. I opened my eyes to see the world frozen, and Kylo smiling down at me.

“What?”

“Nothing. You’re strong with the force Songbird.”

I nodded, closed my eyes, and breathed. Then the world began to move once more, and I was alive once more. My eyes fluttered open to look into Kylo's eyes.

“I am sorry I kissed you Kylo.”

“I am not sorry I did.”

I stood up from the ground taking my stance by Kylo, and we looked back at the kingdom. It was so beautiful and perfect, but I saw it's flaws and the anger hidden there.

"Now we start training,"

I watched him as he explained you could use the force in so many ways. You could move things, and fight with words using it.  The way the world gave us something to use for either good or the bad.

"So now you need to fight me."

"Fight you?"

"Yeah, fight me. Take your best aim and fight me."

I held the stick he handed me and swung it at him and kept turning it at him, but I kept on missing. He kept on yelling at me to try harder, and I was. How I could I work harder when I was already trying my hardest?

Hours upon hours of training and even then I couldn't hit Kylo. I felt embarrassed and weak compared to the God-like form of him. I was so short, and I honestly felt like he was using that against me. 

"You are seriously too short for this. Maybe I should find someone else to waste my time on"

I growled lowly, ran as fast as my tiny legs could take me, and swung at him hitting him in his little pea sized head of his and placed my foot on his chest apply pressure. 

"If you call me short one more time Kylo I will hurt you slowly and painfully. Just because I am a short lady doesn't mean that I don't have rights."

Kylo nodded, clapped, and sat up to the best of his ability.

"I guess you get pissed when people mention your adorable height."

My lips formed a bright and beautiful smile as I looked down at his masked form. Kylo kicked, swung, and I was underneath him all the sudden. I let out a giggle as he accidentally place his hands under my arms where I was the most ticklish.

"Stop! Please!"

He surely enough stopped, and I heard a soft laugh under his breath and I smiled. He was so dark and evil yet he found a way to have fun.

 


	6. Parting

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After several months of training, Synova notices a few things different. Klyo and Hux are called back to the base where they are being waited for by Snoke.

Muscles sore, eyes fighting to stay awake, my hands gripped tightly on the stick, and my feet placement less than perfect. Months and months of training with Kylo in the forest.  I felt dead on the inside, but then again I never got a break from any of this.

If I made it through this, I would alive, and I would be so much stronger. The Force was something I learned to use with everything I have done and everything I have trained for. I learned that the force could be applied for good or bad, and so far I have used it for good. Kylo tired to get me to use it for wrong, but I warned him of the beast in the sea that I would not wake ever because it was the beast of my nightmares and it was the embodiment of all my fears. 

"Today is the end of your training, and I am leaving Retol."

"Where are you going?"

"I have been requested back at base with Hux. I will still continue business with your father I request you see me every time I am here Songbird."

"So this may be the end?"

"There is never an end. Each end just starts something new."

I'll use him as a warning sign for me. He was the evil that could flip my world into an entirely different place that I wouldn't recognize at all. That even if I talked enough sense to hopefully change that world back to how it was, then I'd lose your mind and become the monster that Kylo was. A monster who almost never showed love and compassion. Kylo had quickly become my focal point in this world. He was the thing that was a magnet that drew me in and hypnotized me with his ways. He trained me with force and, I never thought I could. Kylo was more than a mentor, and I think I loved him. I loved him, but he couldn't. The light and the darkness could never be together because they would cancel each other out, and by then the sun would join the night or the darkness would enter the light. In reality, it was so much easier to snuff out a fire than find the glow of hope in the dark.

"Tell me to use reason with all this knowledge Kylo."

He turned to me with his mask facing me. I knew that if he left now, I would never ever be able to see his face again even if I wanted to. Kylo would merely be a figure of a man that I would never know. Also if I got to know him, I would slowly surely lose my mind trying to understand this impossible man. This man who hid himself from me and the world around him so that he felt safe like a child who clutched a blanket with enemies placing guns at him.

Kylo placed his hand on my shoulder. I closed my eyes and searched him using the connection between him and I. I saw a boy who was scared and needed to be loved. A boy who had loving parents who wished him well as he left for training. He was growing in power, and then something happened. The light in the boy has snuffed out by a higher energy, and he felt scared, angry, and in pain. He just needed to be loved, and he craved the ability to fill his cup, but it was the power of love that he needed.

I opened my eyes and hugged him. Kylo froze like a stone statue and didn't move. I pressed my nose to his chest and took in a deep breath of his scent. His scent was that of musk, cedar, and lemon. It was something I loved, and I wanted to keep, and while it was frightening it was perfect. I slowly backed away to see that his facial expression didn't change at all. He was still him, and it made my heart drop in sadness as I looked at him.

"You are not alone Kylo, and I am here."

With that, I walked away from him and the forest to resume my duties as Princess. My responsibilities to rule over a people and a growing kingdom that will eventually expand and take up this whole planet. The people I had to order because it was my destiny.

As I arrived at the castle, I heard loud roaring engines of the ship. I watched as Hux and Kylo left my planet in the dead of night to where ever they were going. I closed my eyes and felt Kylo as if he was next to me, but he wasn't there.

I walked into the room in where my father and my mother sat with the man I hated standing in front of them. Duke of Lunenburg was too old for me, yet he still tried to marry me.

 "Ah, Princess Synova how lovely of you to join me." 

I rolled my eyes, and as I started to walk past him, he swatted my ass. I growled, turned around, and slapped him hard across the face. My parents gasped, and the old man's eyes widened.

"I will not marry anyone who has no respect, and I will certainly never marry you." 

I walked up the marble stairs to my throne in which I stared at the old man with anger. For he would never earn an ounce of love from me. For another man had my love and respect.

"Well, as I was saying my Lord and King I would love to marry your daughter and take her to rule over my Kingdom in the East."

"I agree to your terms."

"What?"

"You heard me. You are marrying Duke of Lunenburg."

"You have lost your mind father. He is nothing more than an old man who wants the pleasure of young women!"

My father stood up and pointed at me in anger. I stood up, and thunder erupted outside, and my father sat down. I smiled as I looked back towards the old man and growled lowly at him. I was in control here as I stared at him. I was the all-powerful Synova who was trained by Kylo Ren,

"I will marry you, but we will not share the same room. I will have my own room, and I will not bear children with you. For if you try, I will kill you so fast you won't even be able to call for help."

The old man agreed to my terms, and we got married right then and there. It was a small, secretive wedding in the courtroom.

I walked back to my room to gather my things, and there stood my maid who was sad. Now that I left she would be put to different work, and she would never be able to work for the royal family again.

"Good-by Mistress."

"Not goodbye my friend. I will be back, and when I come back, I will make sure I have you by my side."

"Until then will you take this crown. I love it, but once I get a new master, he will throw it away. I request you keep in memory of me, my Queen. You are the hope for me."

I nodded as I gave a hug to her. She was my maid, but most importantly she was my best friend whom I loved. I would always be there for her, and she would still be there for me. As we parted, I cried as did she. 

I left the palace that day on board his ship, and we traveled back to his castle where I received my own room.

This room was large, gold, and blue. It was beautiful, but it wasn't home for me. This brought a deep sorrow that was planted in my heart. I stayed in my room refusing to move from the window that looked towards the sea, and on the other side of that sea was home.

It had been days, weeks, and months as I sat there waiting for something to happen. Something to bring me happiness. Nothing to eat or drink as I refused to do this. I was killing myself, and I was happy about it. I would no longer need this horrible husband of mine.

The door opened, and my new maid whom I did not particularly like entered into my chambers with hopes, I would respond. I hadn't talked since I got here why would anyone try to get me to talk. I guess time pasts you when you are sad, and you miss the little moments.

"My Queen your King requests of you at dinner."

I didn't move, blink, or breathe. I had no reason to live anymore. I married a man I didn't love. My soul felt trapped here, and I was homesick. My parents betrayed me, and I lost a friend.

I closed my eyes and parted my lips to let outa song, but this time there was no song to match how sad I felt. It was a broken song that held no notes nor chorus that would please the ears. My lips closed and I continued my staring out the window.

The maid left after bowing, and the door closed behind her with a loud slam. I sighed and looked up at the stars and called out his name in hopes he would hear it.

"Kylo."

There was silence, and it was just me in silence so silent I might as well be deaf. The world froze, and it was only me sitting there looking out my window. 

"Synova."

I turned to see him standing there. He didn't change since he left. Kylo still wore his mask, and he was always perfect. Kylo was the embodiment of my love and my respect, but he was also the monster I feared to love.

"Synova, what is wrong? Where are you?"

"I am in the Kingdom across from mine. I am married to a man I do not love, and I am dying."

Kylo walked towards me, and I did the same until there was no distance between us. I looked down, and his hand clasped around my chin and pulled it up to look into his eyes.

"You are enough. Fight and live for a week then you shall see me again."

Then he was gone, and I was all alone in my room. I called for help as I collapsed onto the ground. As I laid there on the cold floor people helped me to my bed, and the doctors worked on healing me. My eyes closed and I went to sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, so I am currently suffering from a horrible case of writer's block. Do not be mad that I don't update. You should get chapter 7 by Saturday, January 6, 2017.


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